FCB grab 8 at Mahou and leave the opposition sober


Cervezas Mahou111Loss
FC Británico388Win

FCB went into the match looking to continue their winning run and move closer towards their 1st Clausura title. With top scorer Lewis Jones away, goalscoring duties fell on Harry, Padraig and Eric Murphy. FCB lined up


Omar    Gonzalo   Pete

Elvis    EQ    Alex    Joe Price


Harry       Eric Murphy

The match kicked off and immediately FCB went on the attack, using the pace of Padraig and Harry to attack the opposition. The opposition defence was holding resolute and the opposition goalkeeper was managing to keep shots out with any part of his anatomy. FCB’s patience was rewarded on 8 minutes. Padraig picked the ball up, drove down the right, dribbled past 2 defenders on the edge of the box and then fired a fine strike into the top corner. What a strike from one of FCB’s best performing players this season.  Not content with the one goal, FCB kept up their relentless attack. FCB added their second on 14 minutes courtesy of their French rock star named defender.  Pricey’s throw in was flicked on by Eric Murphy, who rolled a ball through to Harry, he burst down the wing and then slid a ball across the box, straight into the path of Elvis who rifled it into the bottom corner to make it 2-0. The opposition were forced into a change a few minutes later when their defender fell awkwardly from a challenge, breaking his collarbone. The game continued in the same pattern and on 32 minutes, Harry with a great cross and Padraig finished for his second of the game to make it 3-0. The game changed on 39 minutes when completely against the run of play, Mahou got themselves a corner. The ball was whipped in, the opposition defender got a slight touch and Max has no chance. FCB looked shocked after being totally dominant. The first-half petered out and the half-time whistle blew with the score at 3-1 to FCB.

Half-Time 1-3

Rami had a few choice words to say at half-time as well as the returning master of shithousery Joe Price.

The second-half started with the opposition changing their keeper, apparently the original keeper was nursing some kind of injury. Within six minutes of the restart FCB had extended their goal cushion back to 3 courtesy of Harry who with a perfectly timed run, nicked the ball from the keeper and rolled the ball into an empty net to make it 4-1.  Just 1 minute later it was 5-1. EQ robbed the opposition midfielder and then clipped a great ball over the top. Eric Murphy took it under control with a great touch, shrugged off the defender and then finished expertly.  The opposition were starting to lose faith and soon it was 6-1, Eric Murphy pressured the opposition keeper, he miss kicked the ball and it rolled into the path of Eric Murphy who had a simple tap-in that JJ would have been proud of.  7-1 arrived shortly after, Padraig’s ball over the top picked up by Harry who made no mistake. 4 minutes later Padraig was fouled in the area, the ref pointed to the spot and after some hissy complaining by the opposition, Padraig stepped up and made no mistake to grab his hatrick. More complaining, fouling and general throwing of toys out of the pram continued in the subsequent minutes. The opposition threatened to have the game abandoned at 7-1 as they felt that FCB should stop trying because they were winning so well. The opposition walked off the pitch, the ref talked them back on and then immediately blew the whistle to give FCB all three points.

Full-Time 1-8

Man of the Match: Harry Newman
Goal of the Match: Padraig
Dick of the Day: Joe Price for over shithousing

Cervezas Mahou


FC Británico

1Max Köhne Goalkeeper
5Petro Konstantynov 4 Defender
6Omar Majid Rodriguez Defender
9Harry ‘Jax’ Newman Forward 51', 81'
14', 32'
10Erik ‘EQ’ Quevedo 7 Midfielder 54'
13Alex Adejokun Midfielder
14Eric Murphy 25 Midfielder 54', 63'
15Gonzalo Yaya 20 Defender
17Elvis Albrand 16 Defender 14'
23Joe ‘Con Limón’ Price Midfielder
32Padraig Slane Midfielder 8', 32', 71'
4Dorus Leenaarts 5 Defender
16Luigi Bosetti 17 Midfielder
7Andrew McLeod 10 Defender
20Antonio Suárez 15 Midfielder
25Tom Carney 14 Defender
  8 4