|14th January 2024
Fines are back. The hierarchy have spoken and fines are back. Standards have dropped and results have been poor so fines are back. FC Britanico beat fellow promotion contenders Criollos four-nil in what is undoubtedly their best performance of the season. Fines are here to stay.
The promise of the new year bringing a new lease of life FCB’s season continued in this slick, professional and hard-working display by the men in black. After an edgy win the week previous, the boys arrived at Las Cocheras knowing that their best performance was needed if they were to come out with three points. There was no sign of the complacency that may have set in earlier on in the campaign, and FCB knew they were up for a fight. And fight they did.
A central three of Arren, Josh and Omar started in defence, the centre-backs showing the discipline needed to deal with the fluid movements and passing of Criollos’ attacking three in the first 15 minutes, with Marco providing stability and assurance in goal, especially with the ball at his feet.
This gave freedom for re-jigged wingbacks Ish and Will to get forward, giving FCB some attacking impetus out wide. This impetus was displayed as FCB broke the deadlock in the 25th minute following a slick counter-attacking move down the left. Will and Yaron – playing alongside Mats in central midfield – linked up nicely before the ball was played through to Harry who, as ever, crossed the ball to strike-partner Padraig at the back post to slot home.
It was a lovely goal, and a reminder of the standard that this team can show when playing with confidence and decisiveness.
From there on in there was going to be one winner and FCB grew into the game. Mats battled hard to break down Criollos attacks, freeing up Calum who linked up well with Harry, Padraig and Ish down the right.
FCB grabbed a second ten minutes later, with Harry latching on to an inswinging Padraig corner and heading it back across goal past the Criollos ‘keeper. Not before, however, Ish displayed never-before-seen incompetency at throw-ins.
Ismael Majid is an adult with a job and a car and a life but he literally can’t perform one of the most basic tasks in football. It’s both mind boggling and unforgivable, and it’s fair to say he’s certainly gone down in this writer’s estimations. Right, back to the football.
Towards the end of the first half it was clear Criollos were starting to lose their heads, but this was nothing in comparison to the petulance and childishness they displayed in the second.
The tackles, pushes in the back and off-the-ball kicks were a feature of a half of football much more bitty than the first.
A weak referee meant Criollos faced no punishment for their aggression, emboldening them to go further and further as the half dragged on.
Their number 2 – potentially the most pathetic excuse for a footballer that has graced this fine league – channelled his obvious anger from some past grievance into trying to kick any FCB player within two metres of him as hard as possible. Number 11, also surely a victim of childhood trauma, did very much the same.
FCB did well, broadly, not to sink to their level and added two goals in two minutes to double their advantage and secure the win. Their third came from a great run and cross by Calum down the right, which – after both Harry and Padraig had attempts saved – fell to Will who put the ball into the net. This was followed by another classic Harry cross that, you guessed it, found Padraig at the back post.
The rest of the game followed pretty much the same trend of Criollos starting and very quickly losing fights. Dorus came on to replace booked captain Calum and put in a solid defensive performance. Paco held up play nicely and Josh confused a bruise for a broken leg.
The full-time whistle led to one final brawl and after that it was a trip to Argayo for cheap beers and even cheaper burgers.
It was truly a great day. A proper display (win) in proper weather (rain) against a proper opposition (angry Venezuelans). Turns out we’re all stingy bastards and all we needed was a bit of financial incentive to turn in a good performance.
|Calle San Lamberto, 21, 28017 Madrid, España