28Defender

Robert Devall

New guy Rob is all about the basics. Happy to play ten-yard passes and let those around him do the fancy stuff Rob is a defensive midfielder who goes about his business in a typically un-fussy Yorkshire manner.  Interesting fact about Rob: Rumoured to be better at paddle than his fellow Yorkshireman Angry Joe.

The only man able to flounce out of the preseason WhatsApp group, pre-emptively pull out of games pending hangovers, have multiple ‘leisure weekends’ and still win Manager’s Player of the Season. The former Tottenham academy prospect is a big guy who turns up for big games… and delivers. Defenders know what he’s going to do […]

A pacy winger with a penchant for a spectacular goal, Weeksy gets up and down the right-wing and into challenges with the best of them. Although he’s quiet off the pitch, he proved his mettle to teammates by coming to a team social in dungarees despite the pre-war fashion sensibilities of his coach. Interesting fact […]

FCB’s biggest wind-up merchant. Joe likes nothing more than doing his trademark backheel flick, letting out a derisory ‘Whoooo!’ and then settling into exactly one lemony beer after the game before being called home for some vegan delights. Aside from the antics and shithousery, Pricey is a seriously classy operator down the left and has […]

The big man who makes the phrase ‘they all count the same’ his own. To say that JJ is fond of a tap-in would be like saying that Harry is fond of a beer. The striker has an impressive appearances to goals ratio and an even more impressive ratio of six-yard box finishes to stunners. […]