FCB Bunwer 6-2 AD Carrozas

19/11/2011 – La Elipa

FCB Bunwer continue their fine form with a 6-2 thrashing of AD Carrozas at La Elipa. Match report by Lee Fletcher.

“It was a dark and cold morning that set upon La Elipa, Madrid…….perfect weather for a bunch of Brits playing football. The opponents today were AD Carrozas. A good side who looked like they had fallen out of the Spanish national team’s wardrobe backwards. Their kit had supposedly been given to them by the Spanish FA (I am writing to the English FA for our kit this week). However, they had not picked up many points in the season but we knew they had pace up front to scare the defence.

An amazing 17 players turned up (and a couple more came to watch) to protest for their name in the starting 11. This was also with the absence of handsome Karim (AWOL) Ish (exam) Ojo (knee) Silky (working) and Tom Pope (supposed ‘business’ trip to Barca), a big squad gave the gaffer Rami Majid and his assistant Fletch a headache.

The numbers were given and the starting line up was ‘el cap’ Hutch, Kiki aka ‘Del Boy’, ‘toon army’ Reece, ‘miserable but devilishly good looking’ Omar, ‘previously headbutted’ Kirky, ‘moaning’ Mick Langs, ‘worst taste in footwear and socks’ Nick, ‘not so moaning today’ Chaz, ‘chasing his tail’ Bini, ‘the Scandinavian assassin’ Arnie, and ‘I know Ebanks-Blake’ George. With a bench of 6 – ‘Mr Muscle’ Ricardo, ‘tici taca’ Hatim, the new ‘Yank’ Will, ‘Silvio Berlusconi’s nephew’ Allie, ‘experienced aka old’ Steve and ‘the ever injury prone’ Fletch.

The match got underway and it was FCB who took immediate control of the game. Playing triangles across the back and in midfield (this also recorded the first quality after 41 seconds). Mick Langs came to collect the ball from defence, and laying it back if need be, showed that we had learned a lot in the last few weeks. Possession was the key and for the first 10 mins FCB showed this. The first mistake however, punished us. Ball deflected off an FCB player and went out for a corner. FCB failed to organise, the ball came in quickly and was defended well however, it dropped to no 8 on the edge of the box who struck it well and hit the bottom corner. 1 nil AD.

FCB knew what they had to do…. Keep doing the same thing, possession. AD acted as if it was the last mins of the game and sat back in there own area. However FCB were happy to keep possession and this showed excellent maturity from the team. Also, FCB’s luck changed when Stu Gibbs (FCB legend) came with his Scotland scarf fresh out of the lost property box from the local school.

5 minutes later FCB turned up the heat. All of the back 4 kept the ball moving and Martin played to Omar, then playing into Langs feet who had been doing a great job holding and playing 1 touch football. Langs linked with Nick with combination play, Nick then collected the ball who fed to George’s feet in the area. George, ‘Zlatan’ style, took on 3 defenders with great skill (unbelievable actually). The keeper closed him down and George sloted it past the keeper. WHAT A GOAL!! Everything leading up to the goal was superb and George’s ability was fabulous, then a cool finish topped it off! Game on!

George and Nick then linked again 2 mins later with great play, and Nick just going narrowly wide. FCB in control… but for how long?

As AD were so deep the only option they had was to go long. However, the back 4 had dealt with this excellently so far. Then another long ball came over the top, No 10 for AD was extremely fast (give Bolt a good go), Omar matched his pace for the first 15 yards, but this kid seemed to have a rocket up his bum and just got faster. He drifted past Omar (still devilishly handsome) and slot passed Hutch from just inside the area. Nothing he could do!! 2 – 1 AD.

In the past FCB have had an attitude of when we go behind, some heads drop. Not the case today. 3 mins later FCB had the ball with Reece who had been give great options wide all game. Then the ball came to Martin, to Omar over to Kiki, Kiki back to Martin, into Langs, to Nick back to Langs, over to Reece, Reece to George, Big G to Arnie then lay off to Nick…………GOAL. Great quick football once again!! 10 passes with only 1 – 2 touches!! Straight off the training park. Excellent FCB.

As quick as that, AD collapsed under the pressure. Reece once again collected the ball from Nick and went down the left. Cutting in side and played the ball into Arn who found himself unmarked. Arn easily went round the keeper and slotted home! 3 – 2. FCB were brimming with confidence!!

AD didn’t know what plant they where on. Mars or Earth? This showed when one of their players brought down Chaz in the box (to be honest Chaz, I gave it an 8.9).

FCB punished them again, Bini down the left and cut inside to Nick who had a shot on target palmed by the keeper, the ball popped up in the air to Reece (where the frig did he come from) who headed it over the keeper and it dropped in the net! 4 – 2.

Before the half, AD decided it was time to act up but FCB (after last weeks boxing match between Rami Pacquiao and the opposition) did not rise to the bait.

Half time and cool head was the shout from Rami. FCB complied. Fletch went through the instructions of keep playing the same football. Confident and happy that we had taken things from training and put them into practise (possibly the best feeling for a coach).

The second half was slow to start and the 2 teams seemed to keep an equal amount of possession. Uneventful was not the word.

10 mins in it started to liven up and the keeper made a howler on the edge of his area, the result of good pressure by Big G. It dropped to George’s feet who again slotted passed the keeper!

From getting lively it started slow down again, but FCB still made chances, with George’s shot being cleared off the line and Kiki missing the BIGGEST open net ever. I think Stu Gibbs would have finished that. (If Kiki says anything different ignore him, it was horrific)

The game was now at its slowest point(well FCB took the foot of the gas and started to uncharacteristically defend and give the ball away). Rami made the decision to make some changes, with Mick Langs (not disappointed bbuurrr), Kiki, Omar, Arnie and Chaz all making way for Steve, Ricardo, Will, Allie, and Hatim. The subs came on within a space of 10 mins. The new players gave stability to the game and fresh legs. Steve (not old but experienced) showing that we have missed his knowledge in the centre of the park.

The last nail in the coffin came 10 mins before the end when Reece, topping off a good game, fed the ball through to Bini who put it passed the keeper. Easy, easy, easy!!

Two minutes later, Bini was replaced by the forgotten man (cheers Rami) Fletch. Touching the ball 3 times, with one exceptional interception that nearly set up George for his 3rd.

The end was uneventful and the ref blew the final whistle.

FCB recorded another victory and sub-sequentially increasing the pressure on the league leaders.

MOTM went to Nick Boyle for controlling the game from start to finish (doesn’t alter his taste in combining footwear and socks… Aweful)

We have a new Cana (pronounced Canya for all you Scots) moment, which is decided by the gaffer for best moment of the game, skill, goal, tackle whatever.
This moment came from the first goal. Everything from the build up, to the sublime feet of George, got Rami’s vote.”


Richard “Silky” Kilroy’s final thought

Apologies for my absence this weekend FCB but from the excellently worded match report my understanding is that FCB were initially bedazzled by a truly horrendous kit the opposition were wearing and this caused them to concede an early goal.  However, in true FCB fashion, and once sunglasses had been put on, the lads soon regained their composure and set about picking AD Carrozas apart to set up an emphatic win.  My positive energy was also filtering across to the ground from the classroom that i was unfortunately holed up in and helped power the lads to victory!!!”

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