Cafe Frances 2-4 FCB Bunwer

12/11/11 – La Elipa

FCB Bunwer built on last week’s strong performance with another fine win over mid-table Cafeteria el Frances. Decisive finishing from Chaz Boyle and two from George Gomm punished Frances’ poor defending, giving an early 3-0 lead that was taken in to half time. The home team looked to have found a way back into the game at 3-1 before Josef “Bini”  Biniyam recovered from missing an earlier penalty to step up to step up to the spot again and take the game to 4-1. Cafeteria el Frances fought back once more to 4-2 with what was to be the final footballing action before the end of the game decended into farce when defender Martin Kirkpatick was cynically head-butted.

When the dust finally settled, FCB Bunwer were left celebrating another fine victory which continues their pressure on the top of the table.

Match Report by Ally Renucci

“Dressed sharply, in what can only be deemed to be extravagant attire, Rami Majid strode to La Elipa with three points in mind.

As for the lads, they were buoyed simply by the return of Karim, who, if anything, has become even more attractive in his absence. OOFT. Rami, a man plagued by guilt each week with regards the boys he can’t phone, was delighted to disappoint no one with a squad of 17 today which, didn’t include returning to fitness, and all round good guy, Lee Fletcher- an indication of the squads strength and depth. The starting team was Hutch (C), a wronged Tom Pope, Martin (again controversially picked at centre half), Omar, Reece, Michael, Nick, Chaz, Binny, Ishmael (who can’t be bothered coming next week) and George.

For the first time in a few weeks, FCB started quickly, quickly asserting themselves in the middle of the park, and passing the ball well. Rami, handsomely dressed in his Sunday best, was a proud and attractive figure on the sidelines. After a decent bit of play from Nick sprung Chaz, FCB were one up. Cafe Frances, however, similar to Nick Boyle’s dating life, did not help themselves by being fat, moany, and rubbish, and quickly found themselves two nil down after some comedy defending allowed George to finish, albeit very cooly with a confident lob. A few minutes later, FCB were three nil up, after some more ridiculous play at the back allowed George to nip in and finish well for a three goal lead. From here, however, the game fell into a slight lull, with FCB making their usual, and potentially damaging, mistake of taking their foot off the gas, and making a fat and rubbish team seem only overweight and mediocre (not like Pamela or Chloe, Nick), although never looking in danger of conceding a goal. However, after a

quality spell of possession to close the first half, FCB could reflect upon a impressive and comfortable first half, marred only by a penalty miss from Binny.

At half time, Hutch and Rami were keen to impress upon the lads not to lose composure or react to anything from the other side, and both led by example in the second half, rising above anything thrown at them by Cafe Frances. Rami, in particular, was resplendent and majestic in his new shirt, and refused even to deign the opposition with his valuable time. The second half began, and FCB quickly dominated and gained control of the game once again, although this was a bit like saying Mike Tyson was rarely in trouble from a fat alky, but, regardless, you only beat what is in front of you. After some more hun like behaviour from Cafe Frances, Rami freshened things up with some changes, with Sean Powell and Karim offering some vital tenacity to a midfield which threatened a little to flag. For twenty five minutes or so, little happened, until Cafe Frances found a consolation, which derived solely from a failure of FCB to organise themselves (as a side) for a free kick than any aptitude or quality (calidad) on the oppositions part. Following this, FCB became a little shaky for a period, beginning to become a little rushed and wasteful in possession, something which needs to be worked on if we are to trouble the truly top sides in this league. And Cafe Frances were not a top side. However, after good forward play, FCB earned a penalty, and in a remarkable act of bravery, Binny stepped up once more and despatched the penalty, to tumultuous celebrations from the sidelines, and probably sealing the game in the process. A few minutes later, Cafe Frances seemed to get themselves back into the game (heads up to the idiot who ran on the park to celebrate an inconsequential goal, absolute champ) but proceeded to ruin the last ten minutes for themselves with some more hun like behaviour, with the referee finally forced to bring the game to a premature end.

This week signified another step in the right direction for FCB, and established ourselves once more after a sloppy two weeks, but there are far better teams out there to play. Cafe Frances, frankly, were as embarrassing on the park as they were off it, and we must seek to cut out the spells of games characterised by rushed passing and route one football, as it really is beneath us. Special mentions go to Martin Kirpatrik for ‘taking one for the team’, the many lads who came along and gave us great options to change things up, Reece Carling for a MOTM performance, Ismael McEnroe, who will be a big miss next week on account of his exam (Friday night drugs and sex orgy), and Karim, for just being generally handsome.”

Richard “Silky” Kilroy’s final thougts…

“Football is a game that fires the emotions of men and in the heat of battle these emotions can understandably reach boiling point.  However, in the presence of women (actually only one of these fair creatures was present on Saturday) testosterone levels increase dramatically and men show their true neanderthal instincts by trying to prove themselves in the field of conflict….but remember,  brains over braun wins the day my friends.”

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