Peter Curran

Pete has arguably the highest cadence (look it up) of anyone in the league. He runs up and down the touchline supporting attacks and thwarting counters like a waspish Glaswegian Lizarazu (look him up). “Wee Pete” is back for his second spell at the club having missed the FCB life so much he simply had to come back.

Interesting facts about Pete: Works at the same school as Macca and probably gets shouted at.

Ismael Majid

The boy is back in town!Ish is one of those players who changes games, scores goals and stretches teams. He is also one of those players who you can’t get the ball off in training. Like Christiano Ronaldo he has a massive leap on him and copies the big man with his celebrations but not his attitude on the pitch. 

Interesting facts about Ish: Son of manager and Mr FCB Rami, Ish along with his dad is renowned for his strong fancy dress efforts.

Dorus Leenaarts

The handsome Dutchman might own his own fashion company and be part of one of Madrid’s shexshiest power couples, but that’s where the aesthetically pleasing stuff ends. This bloke doesn’t do nonsense and takes no prisoners.

Interesting fact about Dorus: Once unanimously won a man-of-the-match award for being sent off for getting aggy with a referee without having got on the pitch yet.

Luigi Bosetti

The Midfield Maestro has become a regular at FCB through embarrassing not only the opposition but his own team at training by regularly breaking ankles and leaving people confused at to what he actually just did never mind how he did it. He has a mean left, unfortunately, his right foot is as useful as a chocolate teapot, and  constantly makes Fleck so horny with his skill that he’s shouted at to stop it.

Fun fact: Luigi and his brother are actually Italian plumbers who love to save princesses from giant dragon like turtles who can breathe fire…. if you haven’t guessed his name then you weren’t born on this planet.

Ricky Pearson

The incorporation of the Welshman into FCB’s ranks this season means all countries of Britain are now represented on the pitch. Ricky is a rangy all-rounder who is a consummate footballer with a terrific attitude. Despite having the frame of a rugby player, the welshman gets up and down the wing with good speed, and even at this early stage of the season Ricky already looks like he’ll be a cornerstone of Rami and Fleck’s game plans.  

Interesting fact about Ricky: He rips his worn jeans.

Christoph Kain

He joined the club this year and instantly made an impact by scoring in his opening three games on the trot. He is a poacher with a tendency to finish off moves with a swift, clean and decisive strike. A rather quiet guy, which is rare in this squad, he plays hard and trains hard. Quite tempted to see his ability in the bar though, shouldn’t be too long now.  

Ben Precious

Ben has come into the team and filled the space in attacking midfield. A great passer of the ball and a man who could shield it all day. He can score goals, assist like crazy and draw fouls like no one else in the team.

Fun fact: he once had four men marking him during a game to stop his attacking prowess… being surrounded by four guys was a typical Friday night for Ben though, didn’t really seem to faze him.

Josue Delgado

What can you say about the ever so slightly nuts man in the net? He loves to listen to a bit of Regayton before he plays and can’t seem to get the fact that he needs to shout his name or keeper, not “MY BALL”. He has good feet, as the strikers who closed him down can attest to, because he loves going on a mazy run and leave his goals empty. He doesn´t normally lose it though. Quality keeper with great hands a fast reaction time he’s a real asset to the team and all round top lad.

Fun fact: The opposition have been known to send him viral videos of goalkeepers doing daft things before matches as he’s easily influenced.