Renfe: Estación Vallecas (Línea C1)
Metro: Estación Villa de Vallecas (Línea 1)
Líneas de Autobuses: 54 / 58 / 103 / 142 / 143 / 145.
Address: Nuestra Señora de la Torre, calle Puerto de Reinosa, 28031 Madrid

FC Británico v Cervezas Mahou

The game started with the cry from the captain being “We owe these lads a horrible afternoon.” An unchanged back line started well and dealt with any incursions into their territory. Dave was attacking down the right-hand side with impunity and Dorus just gave him his space to do so. On one of his voyages forward, Dave felt something go and had to be subbed off with a calf strain. Foxy coming on to attack through the middle and Dorus was given leave to attack. Sean and Fabian were working well to snuff out attacks and counter with speed through Luigi and Joe. It was working and the goal seemed to be not far away. A handball gave the ref no choice but to point to spot. Sadly Sean went down the middle and the keeper didn’t move. 0-0. As the half dragged on the nervous feeling that a repeat of the previous fixture could be on the cards.

Half time 0-0

The second half started in a vibrant and energetic way. The Brits broke the deadlock around 59 mins through some great teamwork finishing with Ed slotting in the ball for Luigi who took his chance and made it 1-0. The second came not long after when joe broke free and the offside flag remained down this time. 2-0. The floodgates had been opened and red shirts were rampaging forward with renewed vigour. Fresh blood was needed and Luis came on for Joe, Macca for Sean and Pete for Dorus. Six minutes later Lluis set up foxy and he got the ball on the edge of the area. With Fabian in acres of space (and without a goal in his FCB career) foxy decided to shoot, he made it count but Fab was still a little heartbroken. The ball sailed into the corner. 3-0. Mahou rallied and managed to lob Yousef from the edge of the area 3-1. The midfield continued to dominate, Macca even pulling off a nutmeg that had their e bench in an uproar. The Brits were playing well, Callum going forward and setting up Macca for a close chance. Then Luis got his first goal and celebrated in his almost “unique” style. 4-1.

Full time 4-1
Man of The Match – Ricky Pearson
Miss of the match – Joe Simmons
Quote of the match – ‘Up it up boys’ – Rami Majid

FC Británico de Madrid v A.A.P.L.A

FCB started the game with aggression and purpose. Dave was getting in behind the defence with ease and sean was causing problems by cutting inside. It was a great start by the whole team. It didn’t take long for sean and Dave to link up and bang, 1-0. FCB kept up the pressure and soon enough te second came when joe set up Luigi. 2-0. The drills of the week paying off, fleck had worked us on getting in behind and that’s exactly what we did. Dave then set up joe who bagged a well-deserved goal. 3-0. The game began to fizzle out at this point. The boys settling down and AAPLA couldn’t capitalise due to the stead fast back four with their lord commander in net.

Half time 3-0

The sun was heating up and a bench full of FCB subs were choking to get in on the action. The back line was holding firm and a free kick was given in a bag spot. AAPLA struck the ball and hutch collected, only to be fooled by the pitch rolling up into his arms and then all spilled, a gambling striker out the ball in and it was 3-1. Sam came on for Luigi and gave a bit more pace to proceedings, we were deftly denied by the bar. Tally struck the upright (much to Fleck’s relief, he would never have stopped talking about it). Both posts were struck and you’d think that the law of averages would mean that some of these would go in, but sadly it was not to be. Joe came off for Callum and Foxy on for Tally. Macca came on for Dorus, whom had a stalwart performance. Refreshed and attacking Dave broke and slotted Sam in for a good goal, 4-1. Two mins later Foxy made it 5 through good work from Eddie. 5-1. The smiling assassin that is Foxy managed to p*sh off the keeper whom was adamant that they should fight, but Foxy is too classy for that stuff, smiling he walked away from it.
Full-time 5-1.

MOTM- Ricky Pearson
Quote of the match – Ricky Pearson “f*ck off you fat prick”
Miss of the match no longer in association with Chris Parker (According to Rami) – Luigi (no surprise there)

FC Británico de Madrid v Bar La Piscina

Spring has finally arrived in the Spanish capital and FCB were in Vallecas taking on league toppers Bar La Piscina (who keen readers of these match reports will note were involved in a fiery encounter with the Brits the last time the two sides met in Getafe). Rami on his own this week elected for a back four of Rama, Ricky, Nate and Ed with the Venezuelan cat Josue back between the sticks. The three man midfield was Fabian, Ben and Sean, and the Brits’ crafty manager went against the advice of his stoic Mancunian sidekick and opted for a false 9 in Luigi up top with Calum and Joe on the flanks. A beautiful day for football and the three strong crowd (all who whom had chosen unwisely to come to a game and cheer on their hero, the very handsome but nonetheless benched Foxy) were treated to decent fare in a first half bereft of the shenanigans and skullduggery of the previous fixture.

The best chance of the half fell to Luigi who on being played through down the left took on a first-time shot and was unlucky to see his effort bounce harmlessly off the post with the keeper stranded. Young gun American left back Nate was settling into the game nicely and making tasty challenges and surging forays look much easier than they usually are in the position for FCB while in midfield Ben was having a typically muscular game and dominating the game. 0-0 at the half and plenty to encourage the men in red to be a bit more adventurous in the next period to haul themselves up the table.

The start of the second half left off where the previous half had been, not too many clear cut chances for either outfit and the Brits looking to play into spaces open to the them on the counter. The breakthrough came from the left side and although rather fortuitous in nature was entirely deserved as FCB who had been the more adventurous and dynamic side found a goal through a looping cross that caught the Piscina stopper out. Nate wheeled away in celebration and was modest enough to admit that he hadn’t meant it despite having put in several similarly dangerous balls in the first half.

Predictably the league leaders came back snarling and looking to throw balls into the box on every occasion. Apart from one misguided headed chance from the Bar Piscina the back four and goalkeeper stood up to the pressure, communicated well and kept the men from Getafe at bay. 1-0 the final score on the day and the lads go into the Easter break on a high.

Man of the match: Would have been Nate but he didn’t accept a beer after 🙁 Rama predictably got it in his place.
Quote of the day: “For fuck’s sake Foxy!”x5
Miss of the match: Fabian. He kicked it out of the ground and lost the ball. Too many pistol squats.

FC Británico v C.D. Banco de España

Another sunny Saturday morning in Vallecas saw FCB facing second place holders Banco de España, a great opportunity to get closer to the top and close a disappointing first round with a win.

It all started off on the wrong foot as Banco de España took the lead a few minutes into the game when a free-kick from the left of the attack was deflected by the wall and slowly but surely ended up on the back of Youseff’s net.

This early slap seemed to wake the boys up, as the rest of the first half was nothing but red. The back line formed by Ed, Rama, Ricky and Macca tweaked its marking and tracking, Ben and Sean started dropping a bit more from midfield to start and open up play to Mikey and Calum along the sidelines, supplying Joe and Luigi with balls up top to create danger.

The first red goal seemed taken from a football manual, as Ben received from Youseff by the 18-yard line and opened up the ball to the right where a lovely combination between Macca, Ricky and Mike ended up in a great run down the right by Luigi, who sprinted past 3 blue shirts and crossed into the box where Joe put it past the keeper to score the equaliser.

Shortly after a play from the left ended up with Ben receiving on the D and opening to the right just at the right time to pass the ball past the last defender, and that’s when Mikey appeared inside the box to control the ball and shoot beautifully across to score the second.

Before half time Mikey crossed a free kick from the right and Ben scored a header to bring ease to the Brits and take a two-goal-lead they aspired to at least maintain up until the final whistle.

But the second half was a whole different story, and a succession of mistakes on the back line rewarded a persistent away side with 3 goals which would shatter FCB’s hopes and seal a defeat that cut deep in Majid’s squad.

The home side committed numerous fouls which enabled a very skilled opposing player to cross uncountable balls into Youseff’s vicinity. Like bombs during an air raid, balls kept coming down and wreaking havoc on the red box. This is how the away team managed to tie the game.

With the game 3-3 a long ball found the quick opposition striker unmarked and running into the box, forcing Rama to commit a blatant penalty (second in the last two games) which meant the 4-3 and a blow the Brits would not recover from despite Marvin, Jose, Sam and Luis coming on to try to turn things around. Sean had what looked like a goal-bound header somehow saved by the opposition keeper and then Marvin had a goal disallowed for an unknown reason by the ref. At the death, Sam lashed a shot on goal but again the opposition goalkeeper was equal to it and FCB were foiled again.

There’s nothing left to do but keep working, as the second round is just around the corner with more games to try and bring some smiles back to the boys in red.

FC Británico de Madrid v Bar Castilla’s

FCB started the match a bit jittery with passes going awry and nerves showing. They did not want a repeat of the 4-0 like the last time these two met. Bar Castillas’s passed it around the back, no surprises there but they didn’t seem to penetrate in the final third. FCB settled and began to hit on the break with fast, cutting passes. Sean and Dave doing well. As the first half wore on, the midfield battle became important and Ben and Fab were hassling well and disrupting play. Youssef, the man on fire, stopped the men in blue several times and kept the score line low. Pete took it upon himself to make a few decisions and tackle, he showed “Scottish character”. A shirt pull and FCB had a penalty. Sean Cooly slots it away. No top bin from Rama. 1-0.

Bar Castilla’s pile on the pressure and get a corner. Arguably a penalty. But they head home and draw level. 1-1.

Half time 1-1

FCB came out the blocks like men on a mission. Dave broke at pace down the right before feeding Sean who finished. 2-1.

Rama then bites the bullet and gives away a penalty. They slot it away. 2-2. The game continued and the centre backs, Rama and Ricky continued to show why FCB don’t concede cheap goals. Solid. FCB go through the motions and ignore the antics of the opposition. Calm play and cool heads will win through. And a lack of tactics, if Rami is to be believed. Foxy on for Luigi and Miki for Joe. Joe then proceeds to put one away. 3-2. Great finish. The play continues and FCB hit smart and fast. Bar Castilla’s couldn’t cope with the pace. Calum on and the attacking prowess continues. Fab off and a favourite hits the bench, what an effort from the Norwegian. Clement on and he brings his own element to the game. Dave breaks and puts it across, Joe takes many touches (Dave questions in his Scottish way) but it’s all good, he slots it home for his second. 4-2.

FCB win a highly competitive match. They know it was a depleted Bar Castilla’s team, but does that sour the victory? Short answer. No, no it does not.

The bench of Rami, G, Macca and Dorus were thrilled to watch such a great game.

Man of the Match – Dave. For his chat alone. “Hold it! That’s the ticket!”
Miss of the match no longer in association with Chris Parker: Calum
Quote of the match – “Pete, that’s the ticket!”


FC Británico de Madrid v Unión Selección

Another beautiful sunny morning in Vallecas saw FCB take on Apertura Champions Union Seleccion in this season’s Clausura. The lads had secured a last gasp 3-3 draw in the previous meeting between the teams, and Majid and co surely expected a tough day at the office again this time out.The omens were good for the boys though as Ed remembered to bring the match balls and FCB were allocated a changing room with working showers and hot water.

Although Fleck was absent for work reasons, the stoic Mancunian would have been delighted with how the Brits defended throughout keeping their shape and not allowing technically superior opposition to play through them. As expected Union Seleccion were seeing plenty of the ball, and working the British midfield hard whereas the quicker fitter team in red were looking to attack quickly on the break. Back in the squad and enjoying his afternoon David Kane was going past his marker with ease whenever the ball was worked to him in space and his cross produced arguably the best chance of the first half as Sean arriving from midfield couldn’t quite keep his shot down. At the other end, Josue was back from Venezuela and everything he had to deal with was regulation as the team in black and white couldn’t work any clear opportunities.

The second half saw much of the same with both teams now tiring both mentally and physically. The onus was very much on keeping shape and not allowing the Union number 10 onto his left foot for the British defence, while at the other end Foxy was trying to make it stick and carve out a chance on the break. The Brits created a decent chance which substitute Mo couldn’t convert, while from a corner Union Selection hit the bar with a mistimed header. Ed hit the roof of the net from a freekick (which yes, he should have crossed) and there was the now seemingly requisite bit of argy bargy as Dorus was shoved to the floor after committing a foul and turning his back. Overall though it was a morning for the defences as neither team could really lay claim to having played better than the other. Despite the workmanlike nature of the match the ever composed Rami was incandescent for the duration of a fixture in which Sean stood out in an unfamiliar central role and in defence Rama’s timing and communication were as on point as ever.

Man of the match: Sean McBride
Miss of the match no longer in association with Chris Parker: Mohammed Hashlamon
Quote of the match: Luigi “payaso!”


FC Británico de Madrid v Guernika – Fraher

The last few games leading up to last Saturday had been rough, with FCB winning only one of the last 5, conceding far too many goals and suffering some humiliating defeats in the process.

This would be worrying for any team, but when this happens to a prestigious club like FC Britanico, it becomes a crisis. Add over half a dozen absent players and a challenging rival to the mix, and you’ll get quite an ominous perspective for the game at hand.

However, this group of players showed once again that when they work together and stay focused they are the best team in the league.

Fleck and Rami started Captain Hutch on goal, and an unprecedented back four formed by Pete on the right, Tally and Ricky as centre backs and Sean on the left. A sturdy midfield with Fab and Ben flanked by Calum and Foxy and a very physical spearhead with Luigi and Hughes up front.

What was the game plan? Find your feet, and then strike. And that’s exactly what the Reds did.

They were cautious for the first few minutes, with the defensive line defusing some sneaky runs by the opposing striker while long balls appeared as the only attacking resort. Nonetheless, this start was followed by a more confident attitude, as balls were played more intelligently, MOTM Pete started to make furious runs up the right wing and Tally led the back line to dominate comfortably. But amidst this reaction, another run into the box resulted in a penalty and recent history seemed to repeat itself on the Vallecas ground. Then came the first of many brilliant saves by an inspired Hutch, who dove left to turn everyone’s frown upside down.

This was a turning point in the game. Spurred on by the Captain’s save, the Brits started to dominate every aspect of the game and quickly found a reward after Luigi found a loose ball and did what he knows best, placing the ball gently out of the keeper’s reach.

Meanwhile, Hughes was having a wonderful time enraging everyone in yellow, causing the game to be interrupted and earning a yellow card before half-time.

The second half was simply epic. Determined not to let this victory slip away, the boys in red besieged Guernika’s goal with 3 attempts by Hughes and Luigi in the first 15 minutes, but the goalkeeper and some poor decisions in the box meant the score remained inert. After “pocketing” the rival centre back, more Hughes shenanigans cost him a second yellow card leaving FCB with 10 men with almost 30 minutes to go.

The game shifted once more as FCB now focused a lot more on maintaining advantage than on augmenting it. This is when we saw the best defending in a long time, as the entire team battled every ball as if it were the last. Hutch continued to catch every ball in the box, even if that meant trampling a few players. Ricky aided Tally in erecting an impenetrable stronghold while Sean and Pete tucked in to help out and provided a start to quick transitions. Fab and Ben remained compact and firm as Cal blocked the way from the left and Foxy ran endlessly to cover spaces, press and play the ball to make time pass. After a lot of pressing and more runs a man can count, Luigi was replaced by Jose, trying to complete the task his teammates were carrying out to perfection.

After a dangerous free kick hit the post came the final whistle and with it, a huge sense of relief for everyone on the home side. With a simple but effective style, FCB went back to basics by keeping a clean sheet, striking at the right time, and defending with true grit. Let’s hope they can build from that and stay on the winning path.

MOTM: Pete Curran
Goal of the game: Luigi Bosetti
Miss of the match no longer in association with Chris Parker: Dave Hughes

FC Británico de Madrid v Unión Selección

A freezing cold Saturday morning in Vallecas and Britanicos were at home against league leaders and last season’s Clausura winners Union Seleccion. Rami opted for a familiar line-up with experienced midfielder Josh Tally partnering workhorse potato Fabian Asland in Midfield, and Zak playing his penultimate game for the club up front.

It wouldn’t be unfair to say that the vastly experienced Union team game the home side a football lesson in the first half. Their number ten causing havoc with clever movement creating space for his midfielders to rush into created the first goal as an untracked runner got to a loose ball and lobbed the on-rushing Josue before the covering defender could intervene. FCB were struggling to get a toe-hold in the game whilst Union decked out in their black and white stripes had established base camp in British territory. A second goal swiftly followed after the energetic opposition striker robbed the Brits’ defense and smashed a peach of a left-footed shot across the keeper and into the net for a deserved 2-0 lead. Chances of note at the other end were not forthcoming and the lads went in at half time knowing they had some serious work on their hands not to let their league title slip away.

Despite the scoreline and the predisposition of the manager towards hyperbole, the half time team talk was not one of cups thrown against walls in a barrage of expletives and recriminations. FCB took to the field in the second half with each player believing that a result was salvageable, and immediately took advantage of their opposition falling back by dominating the game from a solid base and stringing more quality passes together. Tally was beginning to find his range and his favourite ball to the right wing played in the pacy (and angry) David Kane to torment the substitute left back on more than one occasion in the second period. Majid’s men got the first of their goals after some more direct approach play when Luigi found himself with some space on the edge of the box after 60 minutes or so. The man from Merida showed his class and lobbed the goalie to christen his new boots and bolster the confidence of his teammates. The effort being put in by the boys in red at this point was exactly the kind of spectacle that their manager dreams of and the embodiment of Fleck’s favourite saying! Constant harrying of technically superior opposition, vocal support of teammates and accuracy of both passing and movement off the ball was rewarded when a loose ball played in from the right was pounced on by left back/ wingback/ midfielder/ potato Ed at the back post. 2-2 and belief now surging through the team.

What happened next was not only against the run of play, but beyond the threshold of Rami’s tolerance levels and a distasteful reminder of what some believe to be prejudice against the Guiris in this league. On a rare foray down the Brits’ right flank a ball was chipped up towards the back post. Josue got two hands to the ball, and crucially to this observer’s mind, one foot on the ground. The opposition striker, as all forwards who are already committed to the challenge would do, nodded the ball from his grasp and into the net. To the surprise of everyone on and off the pitch, the Spanish referee signalled for a goal y así se desató el jaleo… Rami predictably lost his shit and was sent to the changing room for an early shower (only the showers weren’t working and never work at Vallecas and I don’t think he needed one anyway), Josue was rightly apoplectic, and notably none of the opposition players remonstrated with the ref.

The lads however simply refused to let the referee and a tiring opposition get the better of them!

Britanico voices now hoarse after so much organising and cajoling, they swarmed downfield and won a last minute corner to be delivered by captain Zak. The inswinging corner caught a weary defence off-guard and Rama was on hand to tap in his first and most important goal for the club. It may not have been in the top bin, but the celebrations were as wild as if it had been. Final score 3-3. If there were any neutrals watching I’m sure they enjoyed it.

MOTM: David Kane & Josh Talbot
Goal of the game: Luigi Bosetti