FC Británico v C.D. Banco de España

Saturday morning saw FCB at home to Banco de España. This fixture has been a feisty affair that rarely disappoints in goals and drama. This game was no exception. FCB started with a much-changed line-up that contained a few surprises. Josue in net, with Jose, Omar, Rama and Harry in the back line, Macca, Matt and Mathi in the centre of midfield with Ed and Ish on the wings and Joe up top. A few notable absences. It was a handsome bench made up of Cian, Dorus (fashionable as ever) and Luigi (who is still learning to tell time). There were some fans in the stands thanks to Ricky and Fabian who were resting their legs in preparation for The Madrid Marathon. Both finished this in a respectable time, well done lads!

FCB lineup versus CD Banco de España 21/04/2018

The game kicked off and FCB started weakly, everything was frantic and inaccurate. Once some passes were strung together the bhoys let cool heads prevail and play began in earnest. Their opponents could not get any passes together and had to resort to long balls over the top that were easily dealt with by the back line and midfield. Banco were playing very narrow and that left acres of space for Ed and Ish to get in behind. Some great passing and pressing kept Banco from getting any foothold in the game and the culmination of all that hard work paid off with a great team goal, the ball went left, then came back in through Matt, then Macca passed through the defensive line for Ish and Joe to combine with Ed finally slotting the ball in the bottom far corner. 1-0. The game continued with FCB firmly in control and able to show their tough defence and great counter-attack. This had the desired effect and tempers frayed. Some not so sportsmanlike kicks at strikers off the ball, followed by some handbags at dawn (more than a few times) and few yellow cards were the extent of this. The game slowed down at points but FCB ramped up the energy time and again to allow no respite.

Half Time 1-0

The second half started well for the men in red, they were doing much of what they did during the later stages of the first half, only better. Probing, passing and running ragged. The men in blue weren’t getting a sniff at goal. Spaces began to open up and were being exploited by the home side and a second was only a matter of time. In a similar combo that got the first Ish got himself an assist and ed calmly finishes. 2-0. There was blood in the water and the home team went for it, ruthless in defence and accurate when going forward, the third goal wasn’t waited for long. Ed broke into the space in the wide channel and delivered a delightful ball to Ish who lost his marker and volleyed home with a great finish. 3-0. Three was not enough and pressure was applied when the midfield worked the ball well, lost it, but quickly won it back and Matt broke through to hammer the post, only for Mathi to have an easy finish at the back post. His parents in the stands did not make the trip in vain. 4-0. Rami made some changes with Jose coming off for Dorusm, Joe for Luigi and Macca coming off for Cian. Banco would not go down without a fight and after some slack pressing allowing the danger man ample time to place his pass inbetween a usually stalwart defence and Josue rushed to meet the threat. He wasn’t quite quick enough and made contact with the player, this did not stop the men in blue from finishing an easy chance. 4-1. Disappointed with losing a clean sheet and a livid Rami on the sidelines were the result. They dusted themselves off and went onwards. In a near carbon copy of the fourth goal, Ed got in behind again on the right and provided a tantalising cross for Ish to head home. 5-1. This would not be the end as red shirts bombed forward in search of a 6th to make up for losing a clean sheet. The ball broke to Ed on the edge of the area and filled with confidence from his performance thought, why not? A beautiful strike, a delightful arc of the ball and that sweet sound of the ball hitting the net in the top bin! What a way to round off his performance. 6-1.

Full Time

Man Of The Match – Ed: Captain, hat-trick hero and two assists, could he be any better? Only if he looked like Dorus.
Miss of the Match – Mathias Pensatori


FC Británico v Bar La Piscina

FCB returned to winning ways this past Saturday against Bar La Piscina after last week’s stalemate in the Sex Toys Arena. The boys-in-red lined up on their home pitch with a very talented starting eleven, despite missing two key play-makers in Mathias and Fab.

Rami opted for strength, poise and height in the back, choosing Ricky, Omar, Rama and Harry to counter what was sure to be some tricky play up front from the opposition. Matt, Alejandro and Calum featured in the centre of the pitch. Now there are three lads with a keen ability to switch up play and turn the key to our hearts. The front three saw Ed and Luigi on the wings and Joe now-you-see-him-now-you-wish-you-hadn’t Simmons as centre-forward. And who could forget our very own Jorge Pires in goal. Not me! Not I…? Not I!

FC Británico de Madrid lineup versus Bar La Piscina 14/04/2018

From the very first minute, FCB showed its defensive prowess, foiling any chances that the opposition had in its half. Part-time fashion models Omar Majid and Rama Pérez Toledo made some brilliant tackles to let those boys know that if they wanted a shot on goal, it wasn’t going to come through the middle. And aside from a couple corners inside the first twenty minutes, Bar La Piscina created no problems for Pires.

As the half progressed, FCB looked the most threatening. The full-backs and wingers made great use of space to spread the opposition’s defence and create chances along the wings. Two injuries for the opposition also broke up play and gave FCB a psychological advantage. With under five minutes left in the first half, the ever-more-brilliant Calum Cant swiped a ball from the feet of the Bar La Piscina centre-back, dodged another hapless defender and slotted in a beauty past the keeper to make it 1-0 to the home side.

The second half saw few changes from either team. As Bar La Piscina now had to make up a goal, they looked somewhat keener on playing the game in lieu of their tactical time-wasting theatrics. Nevertheless, FCB stuck to its game and held Bar La Piscina from creating any serious chances on goal. With fifteen minutes left, Rami made his only substitution of the match, introducing FCB’s second-most-bald player, Cian Deegan, for Alejandro. Despite hearing Rami whisper to Graeme “He’s nowhere near as good as Alejandro but we need some fresh legs in the midfield to see this game out” Deegan’s confidence couldn’t be damaged, and he joined FCB’s first-most-bald player, Matt Laverty, in the midfield as the boys held off Bar La Piscina for a massive 3 points.

Man of the Match: Omar
Goal of the Match: Calum, of course
Quote of the Match: Aaaaaah! – Calum as he was savagely tackled from behind

Unión Selección v FC Británico

Last Saturday saw FCB play away from home for what seems like the millionth time in a row. This time was at the Sex Toys Arena in Villaverde the site of their fateful game against Unión Selección in the last game of the Apertura. Their opponents were the same team that had beaten them that day, but the personnel were slightly different as the team in Newcastle black and white were shorn of some of their star names.

The lineup Rami opted for FCB in red was:

FCB lineup versus Union Selección 07/04/2018

The intensity of the lads’ pressing and scramble defence in the first fifteen minutes belied how much this game meant both in terms of the context of the Clausura league table and the prospect of atoning for the performance last time the teams faced off. Unable to establish their usual passing rhythm, the home team’s much-vaunted midfield gave up a couple of early chances to Calum, who had only the keeper to round, and Joe who opted to lift the ball over the top of both the onrushing goalie and the crossbar.

Unión then had their best chance of the game after Omar gave a soft penalty away following another case of a defender’s technique letting them down passing out from the back. To British relief, the post rather than Jorge was the troubled party in the end and the rare foray into the Brits’ half came to nothing.

The first half was perhaps best summed up though by the highly speculative effort FCB produced straight from kick-off, designed to be a statement of intent but horribly executed, Calum’s attempted lob from the halfway line evidenced both the tyro attitude and the absence of composure displayed throughout.

The message at halftime was broadly positive from Rami, who in the scant time allowed by the referee told his charges to get back onto the pitch and make their pressure count on the scoreboard.

As is habitually the case, FCB’s greater fitness and inferior year count started to tell in the second half and they started to see more chances on the counter-attack with all of the front-line guilty of spurning decent opportunities and half chances in the opening salvos.

As Joe was substituted for Luigi with Calum pushed forwards the chances started to get a bit clearer and the controversy a lot stronger. First Calum shot straight at the keeper when clean through much to Rami’s frustration, and then when through again he unselfishly squared for Luigi to tap in and give the Brits a deserved lead….Or so all but one person present thought.

The stone-faced referee, who had been as friendly as a junkyard dog throughout, ruled the goal out for offside despite a complete lack of protest from the Union Selección players, the animated protests of the FCB bench and being stood much nearer the centre circle than the incident. At best it was a poor guess following what this observer believes to be a league-wide mandate to give the benefit of the doubt to the defending side on offside decisions, getting into what that decision might be at its worst was what a tempestuous Moroccan manager was virulently doing at the final whistle.  

FCB cannot blame the referee though for this one finishing scoreless, however. Apart from the several chances mentioned already, there were further chances for Luigi as he struck the bar and Matthias who could not find a way to break the deadlock, and ultimately the lads will look back on an opportunity lost to put daylight between themselves and the chasing pack.

Next up for FCB are Bar la Piscina and another big test for this side. Let’s hope the finishing improves, and the offsides go our way…

Man of the Match: Matt Laverty
Quote of the match: Rami with something pre-match about Jews and mistakes
Miss of the match: Calum Cant